Author Archives: Fat Hand

Felix Velazquez Tries to Prove Forbes Right

Posted on February 5, 2012 | 1 Comment

by Fat Hand

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Look at the Misery

So Forbes Magazine says that Fort Lauderdale is the 7th most miserable city in the United States. According to Forbes our neighbors to the South are the most miserable, but we are pretty miserable nonetheless.  Not surprisingly, this Fort

Lauderdale-themed blog disagrees with the ranking based on the fact that it is ridiculous. But hey, Forbes can think what they want. However, there is an absolutely insane story in today’s Sun-Sentinel of one lunatic trying to make our city a more miserable place. The story is too crazy to summarize here so I recommend you clink on the link above. I will just say that Felix Velazquez had a really dangerous and awful plan, and made a series of bad decisions. And it all started at a 2007 Pet Set event.

In conclusion, we disagree with Forbes, but we also must remember that some people are so crazy that they want the rest of us to be miserable just like they are.  And everybody, even the truly insane, enjoys Pet Set events.

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Two Inspirational Videos by a Couple of Cool Local Companies

Posted on January 26, 2012 | Leave a comment

by Fat Hand

Creative local companies doing cool work and making great videos along the way. Damn, we love it. Below are a couple of such videos made by a pair of local companies.

First up: C&I Studios. The whole video has interesting information about the company and the people behind it, but our favorite portion is the first 2:10 or so. It includes some breathtaking shots of Fort Lauderdale, and generally makes this blogger feel good inside. Check it:

C&I Studios Soft Open Video from C&I Studios on Vimeo.

Also, C&I Studios is throwing a grand opening party for their new location this Saturday during the FAT Village Artwalk. C&I is in the same space that formerly housed the Collide Factory (541 N.W. 1st Ave.). The bands Kids and Civilian (some familiar Collide Factory faces) are scheduled to perform, along with free beer, swimwear fashion show, live art, photography, free admission. Sounds amazing.

Check out C&I’s webpage for additional cool stuff.

Next up: Cadence, a local landscape architecture/urban design firm. We have highlighted these people doing cool things in our city before (i.e., parking day). Now check this one:

We like the preceding video for two reasons: First, the challenge is a great idea. Obviously many of us Ft. Lauderdale residents are busy, but this calls for us to take just two hours: one hour to do something for yourself that you would not normally do, and one hour to do something for somebody else. Very cool. Even this blogger can find two hours. We will let you know how it turns out. The second reason we like this video is because it looks so cool. Gage Couch, co-founder of Cadence, described that he did the illustration in one shot, and then obviously sped it up.

Keep an eye on these two local companies. It seems like they both have very creative people doing innovative things, and that is good for all of us.

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Coming to a Stage Near You: These Guys

Posted on January 23, 2012 | Leave a comment
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Watch out for These Guys

by Fat Hand

Fort Lauderdale can you feel it? Can you feel the buzz, the excitement, the impending madness? That feeling is just the realization that these three guys are about to spend the next week or so harrassing the hell out of us.

Each of these guys came out on top in one of the first three Republican primaries (Ok, Iowa’s was actually a caucus but that is beyond the scope of this blog), and the Republican party seems as undecided as ever. So prepare for an onslaught of negative tv ads, robocalls, campaign rallies, debates (there’s one tonight) and the occassional live broadcast from an entirely disclosed location on an MSNBC or CNN morning show (Mika Brzezinski, let the FTLC know if you need a place to crash).

Although we are not registered Republicans and therefore cannot vote in the upcoming closed primary, I must admit that some of us are excited these guys are coming to town. A lot of people could care less, but we love this shit. Our only regret is that Ron Paul is not really going to be campaigning in Florida. Florida is big and expensive and the primary is winner take all (so no chance scoring a few delegates) and therefore it is not a good investment of Ron Paul’s money and time. I guess we do have another regret: that Herm Cain dropped out of the race a long time ago, and so probably won’t be trying to pick up chicks at Blue Martini.

So anyway, we promise not to keep you abreast of all the comings and goings of these guys, we are sure they will do that themselves. But over the next week or so, if you get asked for money outside 7-11, just realize that it might be Rick Santorum doing the begging.

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Small Business Saturday

Posted on November 25, 2011 | Leave a comment

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by Fat Hand

While Black Friday is supposedly the biggest shopping day of the year, the day following the day following Thanksgiving has been declared a day to shop at small businesses. Saturday, November 26 is Small Business Saturday, sponsored by American Express (I can’t decide if that sponsorship is ironic or not).

As we begin our holiday shopping, Small Business Saturday is a reminder that although the BestBuys and Targets of the world offer convenience, many of us would rather purchase our gifts at small, locally owned businesses. So here are a number of gift ideas from some of the region’s locally owned businesses:

1. Check out Discount Train & Hobby on Oakland Park Blvd. for an unbelievable selection of models and trains (211 E. Oakland Park Boulevard).

2. Buy your favorite blogger a record album from Radioactive Records, now located just south of Searstown (845 N. Federal Highway).

3. Quirky and artsy gifts geared toward girls at the funky Jezebel (1980 E. Sunrise Boulevard, in Gateway Plaza).

4. Give the gift of transportation by picking up a bike at George’s Cycle Shop (1029 S.E. 17th Street).

5. For that friend of yours that needs to relax, pick up a gift certificate for yoga classes or massage at Red Pearl Yoga (918 N.E. 20th Avenue).

6. If you must give a gift to a co-worker, pick up a bottle of wine at the wonderful and helpful 7th Street Wine Company (701 S. Federal Highway).

7. Be locally and globally conscious in one fell swoop by checking out the fair trade products of all kinds at Mission Gifts (1200 E. Las Olas Boulevard).

This list is just a starter of course, as there are many wonderful small and local businesses in our medium-sized city. So as you are out there looking for the perfect retail items to show your loved ones how you feel, give a small business a shot.

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Ray Lewis Real Estate Closes; Stanley Cup Never Coming To Broward

Posted on July 20, 2011 | Leave a comment

Fort Lauderdale 2011 07 16 20 23 45 498 300x224By Fat Hand

It seems like only yesterday that Ray Lewis, UM alum and Super Bowl XXXV MVP, was opening a new real estate office/art gallery on Las Olas. I cannot vouch for his real estate business, but the art gallery was kind of funny. The one time I stopped in, the vast majority of the art was either photographs or paintings of big number 52 himself. But sadly RL52 Realty on Las Olas Boulevard has closed down. We at the FTLC are not sure exactly when this happened, but we did notice this past weekend that although the “RL52″ is still visible on the awning, the realty office/art gallery has been replaced with baby clothes and related crap. I know what you’re thinking: ew, babies.

In other sort-of-local sports news, Nathan Horton of the NHL champion Boston Bruins disappointed local sports fans when he chose to take the Stanley Cup to his small hometown of Dunnville, Ontario rather than to his hockey-mad transplanted home of Fort Lauderdale, Florida as had been previously reported, and where he lives with his smokeshow former Playboy model wife. Outrageous! Luckily JetBlue Airways has our back and took their sweet old time processing the Stanley Cup through the baggage check, causing the Cup to miss its flight and arrive several hours late for the Dunnville celebration. Don’t tread on us Dunnville, Ontario. You’re lucky it was just hockey, and not something really popular down here like jai alai.

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